Win Two VIP Tickets To See Immodesty Blaize At Koko

As you all probably know by now, Miss Exotic World, Immodesty Blaize is back with her critically acclaimed T.I.T.S show on 18/19 March at Koko in London.

Presented by the razor-witted Julian Clary with a cast that includes Dirty Martini, Michelle L’amour, Kalani Kokonuts and Foxy Tann. With live accompaniment from the Blaize Big Band, featuring the legendary Barry Adamson and more, Immodesty’s T.I.T.S show is selling out fast.

We’ve got two VIP tickets worth £100 to give to the winner of our Immodesty Blaize competition.

THIS COMPETITION IS NOW CLOSED!

Tickets to this hot event sold out ages ago and people are literally climbing over themselves to watch the mayhem. Because of this, the nice people at Hendricks Gin have given us two free tickets to the event on 14th July to be given to the person who provides the best caption to the photo on the corresponding forum discussion to this article. The competition closes at seventeen minutes past three on Wednesday 11 July.

The Hendrick’s & Chap Olympiad brings with it a different sort of competitive spirit, showing what we British do best; dressing inappropriately, drinking G&Ts and making complete buffoons of ourselves. Athleticism is not required as the competitors are judged on style, wit, intellect and mental agility. Signalling the opening of the games is the lighting of the Olympic Pipe, followed by a series of ten peculiar track and field events that are as fun to watch as to compete in. The patrons of the event that most unusual of gins, Hendrick’s welcomes athletes of all ages, persuasions and disciplines to partake in the event (just pre-register at olympics@thechap.net). Or simply come along, soak up the atmosphere and sip on a couple of complimentary Hendrick’s and Tonics to the beats of a 1930s jazz band in one of London’s most beautiful, leafy, private gardens. Just don’t forget to bring a retro sensibility and sporting bravado. Guests are encouraged to bring picnic hampers, drinks and all the spoils of British al fresco foods (cucumber sandwiches and that sort of thing) to make this a totally British affair. Just don’t bring the rain with you!

List of track and field events are as follows:-

• Martini Knockout Relay
  Teams compete to mix a dry martini, without the aid of a butler.
• Umbrella Hockey
  Teams of six use their brollies to propel a bowler hat to certain doom.
• The Pipe Smokers’ Relay
  A lit pipe is passed between four teams of three along a gruelling 400-yard course.
• The Three-Trousered Limbo
  Pairs of contestants share enormous trousers & must wriggle under a steadily lowered pole. Underwear must NOT also be shared.
• Neck-tie Kwon Do
  Contestants armed only with the finest silk neckwear attempt to garrotte each other.
• Curling
  Teams of three must propel a perouke with curling tongs to the finishing post, grooming the grass to speed it along.
• The Hendrick’s Steeplechase
  Ladies are the jockeys of the best-dressed stallions in the country, and the hurdles are forbidding, ranging from tins of lager to hoodie mannequins.
• Hop, Skip and G&T
  Contestants must leap into the abyss holding a Hendrick’s gin and tonic.
• Bounders
  Six cads approach six ladies and behave atrociously. The winner is the recipient of the loudest slap.
• Freestyle Dash
  Entrants must bring their OWN VEHICLES, which may be anything from a pogo stick to a bath chair. Any number of passengers is permitted. Only motorised vehicles and living animals are prohibited.

At the end of the day’s activities, points are awarded and prizes given. Bowler hats and cucumber medals are given to the worthy winners, and the Olympiad officially ends with a victory sashay (running would be too uncouth) around the park.

• For more information on The Hendrick’s and Chap Olympiad log onto www.hendricksgin.com
• For more information on the Chap log onto www.thechap.net
• Hendrick’s Gin is priced at £19.99 and is available from Waitrose, select Sainsburys, Oddbinns, Harvey Nichols, Selfridges and Peckham’s.